“What killed your husband?-Don Draper
“He was thirsty. He died of thirst” -a woman Don had met on an airplane
“You are the one the greatest of good, you made us to love and to long. You’re the fulfillment of all our truest desires, the righting of all wrongs.” -Julian of Norwich
If you’ve watched more than a few minutes of the AMC show Mad Men you’ve noticed that everyone drinks copious amounts of alcohol. But no one drinks more than the lead character Don Draper. Actual studies have been done on how much Don drinks on camera, but the show Mad Men isn’t glorifying this because the consequences have been devastating to his life.
Over the course of the past 6 season, Don has vomited at a funeral, gone through two divorces, punched a minister (my personal favorite), been thrown in jail, and has developed a nasty habit of shaking when he’s not able to have a drink. The majority of time Don drinks alone, and without saying a judgmental word about it, Mad Men is letting us know that Don Draper is drinking, not out of enjoyment, but because he’s very, very thirsty.
Obey Your Thirst
One of my favorite stories in Scripture is in John 4. Jesus takes his disciples to a Samaritan village (the Jewish people’s enemies) and sits down at a water well with a woman who’s there alone. This story is profound on several levels, but what I want to point out today is that Jesus starts a conversation with her by asking her if she will give him a drink. She points out that they shouldn’t be talking, because he’s a Jewish man, and she’s a Samaritan woman, and what will the neighbors think, and Jesus just ignores her concern and keeps talking about water.
But not just any water.
Jesus starts telling her that He can give her living water, that He can quench her thirst in places that she didn’t even know she had. And she responds with, “Yeah, that sounds good, give me some of that.”
So Jesus says, “Go get your husband.”
When you first read this, it seems like a jerk move by Jesus, because this woman is a social outcast. She’s going to immediately tell Jesus that she doesn’t have a husband, and Jesus replies “You’re right, you’ve had five husbands and the man you live with now is not your husband.”
Does it surprise you how quickly Jesus gets into her sex life? Not just to fix her, but because Jesus is going to go directly to the parts of our life where our heart is. Jesus is going directly to her greatest disappointments and her greatest desires.
I like the way Pastor Tim Keller says this:
Why does Jesus seem to suddenly change the subject from seeking living water to her history with men? the answer is-he isn’t changing the subject. He’s nudging her, saying “If you want to understand the nature of this living water I offer, you need to first understand how you’ve been seeking it in your own life. You’ve been trying to get it through men, and it’s not working is it? Your need for me is eating you alive, and it will never stop.
Jesus has just revealed what the woman is thirsty for and how her particular drink of choice keeps her thirsty for more.
The Morning After
Theologians have a phrase about this “post coitum omne animal tristes est” It means: “After sex, there’s still more wanted.”
I think that phrase is so profound, especially in light of what Mad Men is trying to do. The world of advertising in the 1960’s tried successfully to attach almost every product to humanity’s most primal desires. “If you buy this dishwashing detergent you’ll have more time for…” “If you smell like this cologne, she’ll want to do this to you…”
And it’s worked, slowly brands have worked their way into our hearts, attaching themselves to our desires. But from the beginning Christianity has said, “After sex, more is wanted.”
Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again.
And this is one the most counter-cultural things that Mad Men has done. It has shown Don Draper live out the darkest fantasy any guy could have. Don has slept with more women than Hugh Hefner, he’s had hundreds of affairs with very attractive women, every sexual dalliance you could fantasize Don Draper has had.
And he’s the most tragic, sad character on television.
Because after sex, more is wanted.
There are really two ways that religion talks about desire. One is the way of Buddha, which is to say that desire is bad and leads to suffering. And that’s not without truth. Buddhism knows that everything will eventually let you down, and if you just can train your body to not desire things you can eliminate much suffering in life.
But that’s not how Jesus does it. Jesus doesn’t call the woman away from her thirst, He calls her deeper into it. Jesus doesn’t renounce God’s good world, He just knows that after sex, after any good thing, more is wanted. God made the goodness in the world, and everything in it points back to Him.
Here’s the way Shane Hipps says it in his book Selling Water by the River:
The objects of our pursuits present one problem. Whatever feeling they evoke, whatever thirst they quench, whatever joy they create, it never seems to last. Eventually, our husband’s gaze returns to his favorite glowing screen, our wife becomes cold and critical, our body fails us, the pay doesn’t match the hours, the sex ends, a loved one leaves, children act out, the bowl of ice cream is empty, and the buzz wears off. Soon the hunger returns and the quest begins again. The Problem isn’t the pursuit of these things. They are meant to be enjoyed. The problem is the nature of these things. They are temporary, and therefore so is their effect. Our joy will share the fate of the thing we bind it to
The problem comes when we confuse the gifts with the Giver.
Before St. Augustine was a saint, he was the Don Draper of the 3rd century, and I’ve fallen in love with how he talks about this. He says that the great problem we all have is that our loves are out of order.
Aft first I thought that meant something like we love food too much, or we love our spouse, or our children, or sex too much. But that’s not what Augustine meant, He meant that our real problem is that we love God too little. Our loves are out of order, because only God can satisfy, only God can teach what satisfaction actually feels like.
When we forget that we become thirsty people trying to drink sand.
We chase so hard after everything, only to catch it and realize that we are thirsty for more.